hilary bradshaw
Number of posts: 2490
Age: 53
Location: st. helens, merseyside
Rep: 24
Points: 4120
Registration date: 2009-08-04
 | | Subject: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive) Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:42 pm | |
| I've just come out of the 'chippy' with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days'. I told him 'I wish I had your will power'
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A woman buys a wall mirror from B & Q. The manager says 'would you like a screw for that mirror'. No she said 'but I'd suck your cock for a lawn mower'.
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I got fired on my first day as a masseur today. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.
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A fat bird served me food in McDonald’s at lunch time; she said 'sorry about the wait'. I said 'don't worry fatso, you'll lose it eventually’.
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Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts, Murphy meets him and says 'if I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have one?’. Paddy said 'if you can guess how many doughnuts are in there you can have both of them'. Murphy says 'Four'.
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One of life's great mysteries: how is it that a woman can fit a seven inch vibrator into her half inch fanny IN THE DARK............ but she's unable to fit an eight foot car into a fifteen foot parking space IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?
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Snow eh! The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself 'she'll be lucky with a face like that!'
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I have a new chat up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
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Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away'. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat! |
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liverbird
Admin
Number of posts: 15515
Age: 56
Location: posh part of scouseland :)
Rep: 31
Points: 16363
Registration date: 2009-01-08
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hilary bradshaw
Number of posts: 2490
Age: 53
Location: st. helens, merseyside
Rep: 24
Points: 4120
Registration date: 2009-08-04
| | Subject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive) Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:56 pm | |
| thank god, thought I might have been banned  |
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liverbird
Admin
Number of posts: 15515
Age: 56
Location: posh part of scouseland :)
Rep: 31
Points: 16363
Registration date: 2009-01-08
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Sandra
Admin
Number of posts: 18743
Age: 49
Location: Ammanford
Rep: 22
Points: 16755
Registration date: 2008-12-28
| | Subject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive) Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:32 am | |
| :san12: :san12: :san12: :san12: :san12: brilliant Hilary |
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Lainee
Number of posts: 3905
Rep: 19
Points: 5098
Registration date: 2009-06-29
| | Subject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive) Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:00 am | |
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jacobrad
Moderator
Number of posts: 3561
Location: HUDDS WEST YORKS
Rep: 19
Points: 5879
Registration date: 2009-06-21
| | Subject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive) Fri Aug 13, 2010 8:22 am | |
| _________________ HAPPINESS IS A OBEDIENT DOG , I MISS MY SWEETIE MORE EACH DAY  |
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R.I.P Scouse xx Saffron xx and Roxanne xx I will Never Walk Alone..Still Miss you all. 
