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Dogtalk Calender 2013
has begun, so get your
pics up there in the competition
 thread,


 

GET VOTING FOR THIS MONTHS COMPETITIONS
 
KEEP ENTERING EVERYONE

and a big well done to bren for her lovely piccie that won last months prize competition

Yer gotta be innit
to winnit

 




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     innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)

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    hilary bradshaw



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    PostSubject: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:42 pm

    I've just come out of the 'chippy' with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days'. I told him 'I wish I had your will power'





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A woman buys a wall mirror from B & Q. The manager says 'would you like a screw for that mirror'. No she said 'but I'd suck your cock for a lawn mower'.





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I got fired on my first day as a masseur today. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A fat bird served me food in McDonald’s at lunch time; she said 'sorry about the wait'. I said 'don't worry fatso, you'll lose it eventually’.





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts, Murphy meets him and says 'if I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have one?’. Paddy said 'if you can guess how many doughnuts are in there you can have both of them'. Murphy says 'Four'.





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    One of life's great mysteries: how is it that a woman can fit a seven inch vibrator into her half inch fanny IN THE DARK............ but she's unable to fit an eight foot car into a fifteen foot parking space IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?




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    Snow eh! The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself 'she'll be lucky with a face like that!'




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I have a new chat up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'




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    Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away'. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
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    liverbird
    Admin
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    PostSubject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:47 pm


    _________________


    "My sunshine doesn't come from the skies, it comes from the love in my dogs eyes."

    R.I.P Scouse xx Saffron xx and Roxanne xx I will Never Walk Alone..Still Miss you all.

    I am a Volunteer for UK-German Shepherd Rescue.
    http://www.ukgermanshepherdrescue.co.uk/
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    http://karenmillsgsd.synthasite.com
    hilary bradshaw



    Female
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    PostSubject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:56 pm

    thank god, thought I might have been banned
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    liverbird
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    PostSubject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:57 pm

    yer daft Mare
    I'm gonna use them for my f/b status

    _________________


    "My sunshine doesn't come from the skies, it comes from the love in my dogs eyes."

    R.I.P Scouse xx Saffron xx and Roxanne xx I will Never Walk Alone..Still Miss you all.

    I am a Volunteer for UK-German Shepherd Rescue.
    http://www.ukgermanshepherdrescue.co.uk/
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    http://karenmillsgsd.synthasite.com
    Sandra
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    PostSubject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:32 am

    :san12: :san12: :san12: :san12: :san12: brilliant Hilary
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    http://www.dogtalk4us.com
    Lainee



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    PostSubject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:00 am

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    jacobrad
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    PostSubject: Re: innpropriate jokes, (some viewers may find offensive)   Fri Aug 13, 2010 8:22 am


    _________________
    HAPPINESS IS A OBEDIENT DOG ,
    I MISS MY SWEETIE MORE EACH DAY
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    http://www.jacobrad.co.uk
     

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