A man is driving around the back country roads in Larne, and he sees a
sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
'Talking Dog For sale'
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard.

The man goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk then?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the man recovers from the shock of actually hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The
Labrador looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when
I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told Special
Branch.
In no time at all they had me jetting across to London and
at times from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world
leaders, because no one could imagine a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I
was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger, so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the
Belfast International Airport to do some undercover security, wandering
near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings and was secretly awarded quite a few medals.' 'I
got married, had lots of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

Ten pounds, the man says.

Ten pounds?
That dog is amazing!
Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a bleedin liar. He never did any of that stuff.'

i pmsl when i heard that