A beautiful DHSS fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside the Dover immigration offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in England with your wife and three children.'

The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING ! -- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.'

The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Wiltshire with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here..

' PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ , overlooking the river.

'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand. 'Yes, one more wish.

I want to be like an Englishman with designer clothes instead of manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Brits..

' PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Man U T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon..

'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'

Don't get it hun