fredsmum
Admin
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Registration date: 2008-12-28
 | | Subject: dogs and cats Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:59 pm | |
| Excerpts from a Dog's Diary..8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! [/size] 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! [b]
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary.
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage..
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........
_________________   ~The dog is a gentleman! I hope to go to his heaven, not man's~ |
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liverbird
Admin
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Location: posh part of scouseland :)
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Registration date: 2009-01-08
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Sun Jun 07, 2009 5:19 pm | |
| :2445: sounds like my cat
if i had one :san42: :san42: _________________  "My sunshine doesn't come from the skies, it comes from the love in my dogs eyes."  R.I.P Scouse xx Saffron xx and Roxanne xx I will Never Walk Alone..Still Miss you all. I am a Volunteer for UK-German Shepherd Rescue.http://www.ukgermanshepherdrescue.co.uk/ |
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fredsmum
Admin
Number of posts: 29467
Age: 37
Location: posh part of derby
Rep: 33
Points: 28784
Registration date: 2008-12-28
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Sun Jun 07, 2009 5:20 pm | |
| :2222: yea _________________ ~The dog is a gentleman! I hope to go to his heaven, not man's~ |
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SUMMER
Moderator
Number of posts: 6675
Age: 55
Location: Fife Scotland
Rep: 12
Points: 7366
Registration date: 2009-01-13
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:49 pm | |
| :2431: :2445: :2445: :2445: :2445: _________________  |
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Sandra
Admin
Number of posts: 18761
Age: 49
Location: Ammanford
Rep: 22
Points: 16774
Registration date: 2008-12-28
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:44 pm | |
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slynico
Number of posts: 4202
Location: Derbyshire
Rep: 10
Points: 4273
Registration date: 2009-01-06
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:51 pm | |
| Poor dogs. Bit thick really compared to the cat arent they? :2431: |
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fredsmum
Admin
Number of posts: 29467
Age: 37
Location: posh part of derby
Rep: 33
Points: 28784
Registration date: 2008-12-28
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:54 pm | |
| extremely bev :2431: fred still cant work out that no matter how much he pisses the cat off, he will always get clawed in the face.... _________________ ~The dog is a gentleman! I hope to go to his heaven, not man's~ |
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slynico
Number of posts: 4202
Location: Derbyshire
Rep: 10
Points: 4273
Registration date: 2009-01-06
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:58 pm | |
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BrenA
Number of posts: 5093
Location: Shropshire
Rep: 20
Points: 6238
Registration date: 2009-01-17
| | Subject: Re: dogs and cats Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:11 pm | |
| :san42: :san42: Brilliant :san42: :san42: |
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